Someone asked me if there was a reason they shouldn't help others. This made me stop and think for a while. So, I meditated on it and this is what I have to say.
Service to others is important and it is our duty. However, is the service you are doing for another out of obligation, is it because it fulfills a codependency need inside of you and them, is it because you don't want to feel your own pain or is it because you have done the work emotionally on yourself to make sure all your needs are met and you have the space to also help others find their way forward?
As empaths we often find ourselves drawn to the energy of wanting to help and heal. It's an intrinsic part of our nature. Yet, it's crucial to discern the motivations behind our actions. Empathy, while a beautiful and powerful trait, can sometimes lead us into situations where we prioritize the needs of others above our own to the point of self-neglect. This is neither sustainable nor healthy in the long run.
Helping others should not come at the expense of our own well-being. It's like the safety instructions given on airplanes: "Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others." This principle holds true in life as well. If we're depleted, running on empty, or haven't addressed our own wounds, how can we genuinely offer support to someone else? The help we offer could become a band-aid solution, one that perhaps temporarily eases pain but doesn't contribute to long-term healing or empowerment.
Moreover, when we help from a place of codependency, we might unintentionally enable behaviors or situations that aren't beneficial for the person we're trying to help. It's important to ask ourselves: Are we helping them grow, or are we keeping them in a state of dependency? True help empowers others to find their strength and autonomy, not keep them reliant on us.
That being said, there's a profound beauty in genuinely connecting with another soul and offering support and kindness. When done from a place of fullness, when our actions stem from a heart that's overflowing rather than one seeking to fill a void, the impact is profoundly different. It becomes a gift freely given, without expectation or strings attached. It encourages growth, fosters resilience, and cultivates a cycle of positive energy and love.
So, before we rush to help, let's take a moment to reflect on our motivations and ensure we're in a healthy space. Let's do the inner work, set boundaries, and ensure our own cup is full. From this place of strength and abundance, we can truly make a difference in the lives of others. Helping then becomes not just an act of service, but a manifestation of our highest selves, contributing to a world where empathy and kindness ripple outwards, touching lives in ways we might never fully know.
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